A Break.....

I apologize for not blogging in such a long time.  I stopped blogging and took the site down out of respect for Dima's privacy.  Long story short, he was very upset with me after he found this blog from googling his name.  Being in junior high, I am sure he was afraid of kids reading about his past that he seems to want to move on from.

I am writing again as it is getting close to 2 years when we first laid eyes on our beautiful son.  I can't believe where the time has gone!  I started reading our blog from the beginning and am amazed at how far we've all come.  I felt like I needed to write again in hopes that one day he'll understand why I am writing about our family and allow me to put this blog online again.

Last blog was around Halloween.  So much has happened since then and I will not go into all the details.  I will say that we've had some major growing pains, but each pain has taught us so much.  We have learned and grown from those experiences. 

Thanksgiving and Christmas were amazing with us being together as a family.  The holidays are so much more special now that we have someone to share it with.  I try not to look over those moments where Dima is experiencing things for the first time, however, he is definitely becoming your typical American teenager! Dusty and I joke around about his "tude"...short for teeange attitude.  If you have a teenager, you'll know what I mean.

Dima is starting high school this year and will be participating in cross country again.  He has developed into such a good runner!  I can't wait to see what the future holds for him if he continues to work hard!  He finished his 9th grade year making the honor roll!  He never ceases to amaze us how smart he is.  I am sounding like a proud Mama now, but he went from the beginning of the year needing our help with all of his homework......hours of homework a night....to the end of the school year not needing much of our help!  He still has a ways to go, but he is pretty much able to function in class like all the other students.  He even got A's in his Spanish class!!! He still struggles with tests but works hard to keep his grades up.

I am so excited for him to start a new chapter in his life with school.  I can't believe how fast the time is going.  It makes me sad at times to think of him graduating in a few short years, but would never have had it any other way.  He is an amazing boy and we are truly blessed as a family!

Fun Times With New Experiences

I love being able to experience things for the first time with Dima!  Last night our church had a Trunk-or-Treat so the children could walk around safely to receive candy from cars.  Dima was so excited to get dressed up in his Scream costume.  He had a fun time receiving candy.  Unfortunately, he couldn't stay long as he had homework to finish.  He was a good sport and didn't make a fuss about leaving.  He worked hard on his homework considering he was on a sugar high!

Last night we actually had some extra time before his Math tutor came over to carve some pumpkins.  I didn't know if he would want to do it, but was surprised at how excited he got when I brought the pumpkins in from outside.  I didn't say anything and he asked "Are we going to carve the pumpkins???".  I loved the look on his face when I said yes!! 

We had a blast drawing and carving out the faces.  I forgot how dangerous carving pumpkins can be, I was just praying one of us didn't end up in the ER needing stitches! When we were preparing the pumpkins, we saved the seeds so we could roast them later.  He asked if we could watch a scary movie and eat the seeds tomorrow.  He is bound and determined to watch a scary movie, I on the other hand get freaked out watching them.  I will try to talk him into watching one that is not too scary! 

We sat the pumpkins outside and put candles in them for Trick-or-Treat night.  We never get kids to come by our neighborhood because there aren't many kids that live on our road, but at least it looked cool! 

Saturday is Dima's last cross country meet.  Sounds like we may get some snow so it will be interesting!  Dima actually said to me that he is looking forward to having a break and more time for homework.  He is so burnt out from having no time to relax during the school week.  I am so proud of him pushing through his homework the last few months when I know he was exhausted after concentrating in school and then cross country practice.  I couldn't imagine going to another country and having to learn the language AND trying to keep up with the other students in class!

Thanks for reading!
Tina

Patience

I feel like a broken record when I take a deep breath in and say to myself to be patient.  Last few days feels like every breath in I am saying this! I feel it is important to blog not only about the good times, but the not so good times.  I have heard that adoption is not easy, but I am sure being a parent in general is not always easy.  We felt we were called to adopt Dima and will continue to follow what God directs us to do.  We understood that this would not be easy and feel that our marriage was able to handle the good and bad times.  I am so thankful for the bond my husband and I share as I couldn't imagine going through this without it.

We are extremely blessed to have adopted such a special boy.  He is smart, caring and so much fun to be around.  That is why we get so frustrated when we see a small part of him showing lack of respect and putting up a wall when things do not go his way.  This has been a constant battle for all of us and has been very stressful at times.  We are thankful for most of the days where this attitude does not come out.  We understand it could be a lot worse and are extremely thankful for this.  We pray that this attitude will happen less and less and for the time being God shows us the way and patience.

I can only imagine what is going through his mind.  After 14 years living in a certain environment where you only had your friends to support you and no parents to help guide you.  You always had to rely on only yourself.  I am sure it is hard for him now to allow us and others to help him.  He fights any help from others.  My only guess is that he may see it as a weakness, when we see it as a way to give someone help that has so much potential!  Ukrainians typically do not show their emotions and are very independent.  That is hard for us to understand and break down this wall around him that has been there for so long.

All we can do is pray for guidence and patience.  Thanks for reading.

Latest Post

I have no idea where the time has gone since the last blog? This last month has been extremely busy with school and cross country.  Cross country will be coming to an end soon as I think Dima is ready for a little break.  Homework takes up all of our evening time and I think he is getting burnt out a little.  One evening he said all I do is go to school, go to practice, eat and do homework until bed!  Eventhough he has been tired, he has been a real trooper and trying his best to do all his work.  Some things he wants to finish like all the other students, however, there are still things that are too challenging for him to complete.  Other students can get most of their work finished in class where he will do what he can and bring the rest home for us to help him.  We are so thankful he has come to trust us helping him as last year it was a struggle at times.  This is also a great way for us to see what he can and cannot do.

Last night was Parent-Teacher Conferences as we had the opportunity to see how he is doing in class.  We are so blessed that he has such caring and helpful teachers.  Since Dima is so quiet and shy, they all had a hard time finding out what he could and could not do.  They all say he is slowly opening up which have helped to learn more about him.  For the most part, the teachers say he has been respectful, however, a few times he has shown his attitude when he doesn't understand something or it was discovered that he didn't complete work.  Luckily, that attitude is starting to diminish with him being able to understand more.  For 14 years that was his way of dealing with problems, so it's not going to go away in a flash.  Now that the teachers have a better understanding of him, I think that attitude will slowly go away. He is even starting to open up to his ESL teacher, finally!!! We have been trying to explain how important she is to him and how she can help him.

The other day Dusty and I were looking through some old pictures and were quickly reminded how far Dima has come in just 10 months!!  This time last year Dima was waiting for us to come adopt him, now he has such a completely different life now.  Before he didn't care about school, now he starts on his homework without us asking him to do it. Looking through his old pictures, we saw a child with no smile or hope, now all he does is smile!!

This was the first time we saw Dima in Ukraine since the summer hosting program.

This is the smile we LOVE to see!!! This is after he received his Citizenship Certification.  In his mind, he was finally an American and had the certificate to prove it.

School, Cross Country and Citizenship Oath!!

What a month!  September began with Dima starting school and cross country season.  What a difference in Dima this year with school!  Every time someone would ask him if he was ready for school, he said no.  I think he was more ready than he thought.  The first week of school Dima would come home from cross country practice and start on his homework!!  I remember last year we had to remind him to get his homework out most of the times.  He has all Academic classes along with his one period of English. It is going to be a challenging year, but I think he is ready for it. Dima has been amazing as he is trying his best to do all the work himself.  Obviously since he's only known English for about 9 months, he needs a lot of help.  We have been spending at least 1-2 1/2 hours on homework every night.  He has been a trooper as we are the ones, not Dima, who are exhausted after homework.  He has been even going to school early some days so he doesn't get behind in his Algebra and Computer classes.  We are extremely proud of him and his efforts. 

Dima on his first day of school.  He wouldn't let me take pictures so I had to surprise him.....that should explain the look on his face.

With all that being said, he still struggles with his ESL class.  So frustrating as the teacher is an absolute sweetheart and has been nothing but nice to Dima, however, he does not like the one on one class.  He so badly just wants to be like all the other students, but he is the only student that has to go to this class.  I am hoping over time he will realize how important this class and teacher is for him.  I continue to explain to him what she does for him while he is still learning English and he could not survive all his other classes without her help. 

Cross Country started out great for Dima until he injured his foot.  The team has been great for him as he has gained more confidence.  His foot has been slowly getting better but had to miss a few meets to let it heel. 

Dima running in the Mt. Lion meet.  He finished 12th in the JV meet.

Not a great picture, however, this is Dima after receiving his award.



Last but certainly not least, Dima finally got to take his Citizenship Oath!  After getting Dima's passport issue fixed, he received the letter to take his oath.  I am glad that it he understood English more and thanks to Civics class, he was able to understand what was going on.  He did a great job reading the oath, even with the huge words.  It was an exciting moment for us all!  He was so excited afterwards because I think in his mind he finally is an American, even though technically he was when we landed in New York on January 1, 2011.  We treated him to a dinner at the Cheesecake Factory afterwards and his smile did not leave his face. 

Dima signing his oath.

Dima reading his oath.

The proud Mom and Dad with Dima.

That smile!!!!

Getting Ready for School and the Cross Country Season.

Again, I keep trying to get a post out, but I get distracted and forget!  Since last post, Dima's Uncle John, who was in Afghanistan for the last year, came home.  We had a big party to celebrate.  You can tell that Dima loves having a big family now as he is so happy anytime he sees his extended family.  It is hard to imagine him going through his whole life with having no one to call his family.  It is still hard for me to think that someone could give this child up, but we are so blessed to have him now and hope that we can show him what a family is all about.

Here are a few pictures from the celebration:

Dima and his cousin Ben playing games on Dima's phone.

Dima and Allison swinging together. 

After the celebration, we've been trying to find things for Dima to do until school starts.  We are finally comfortable leaving him home alone.  He has turned into the typical American teenager and sleeps in until about 10am or so.  He enjoys riding his bike around Penn State Altoona and having the freedom to relax.  He started cross country practice last week and seems to really enjoy it.  Coach Baranik and everyone has been absolutely wonderful with Dima. 

It is amazing to see how far he's come in 8 months!  He now is comfortable speaking to new people and engages in conversations.  For some reason he will not speak much to anyone who tries to speak in his language.  We don't know why as we thought he'd love to speak to someone else in his main language. 

Dima's English has been coming along really well.  He has been reading to us each night.  At first he was a little quiet and unsure of himself, but now is reading with confidence.  I just hope he will continue that confidence into this school year! His English has come a long so well that our friends that meet him are amazed that how well he can understand English and they can understand him. 

It is so hard to believe that this time last year, Dima was staying at our house for the hosting program! It's amazing how much has changed in one year.  This time last year we were looking forward to making Dima our son and now he finally is! 

Where is this summer going???

I can't believe how fast this summer is going!  I feel bad that these pictures were taken back in May from Heather (Walk) and Troy's wedding!  Dima had a fun time seeing a wedding for the first time and spending time with his friends again.  Here are some pictures from the wedding.

Dima, Anslee and Artyr

Joe, Artyr, Dusty and Dima

This wedding set the summer off to a great start.  In June Dusty, Dima and I had our first family vacation.  We flew out to my sister's in Arizona.  Dima got to meet his cousin Phillip, Uncle Jamie (my brother-in-law), Uncle Eric (my brother) and Aunt Gina (my new sister-in-law).  We had a short, but great 5 days in the hot sun of Arizona.  Dima loved that they had a pool where we swam in every day to cool off.  He enjoyed being with his family so much that I think he was pretty bummed when we flew back home. 

In July we had our first 4th of July celebration together.  I remember last year looking up at the fire works and thinking about Dima.  This year we all got to look up together at the great fireworks at Delgrosso's Park. The morning started out with a bang as we ran in the YMCA July 4th Race.  We all ran the 15k and Dusty and I tried to "hold" Dima back so he would not tire out, but he took off like it was nobody's business!  By the time I came across the finish line, Dima had enough time to shower, eat a whole BBQ dinner and popsicles.....not really, but the announcer did make a big deal that he finished a long time before his Mom!! He did an amazing job! The smile on his face when he came up to us was absolutely priceless!! He said the people cheered him on when he was finishing.

A few days later my family came home to visit.  It was an awesome time as they all stayed a whole week.  It started out with a surprise wedding reception for my brother Eric and his new wife Gina.  They got married earlier in the year in Hawaii so we thought we'd have a PA reception for them.  They were pleasantly surprised and we had a wonderful celebration.  The next few days we spent at our camp in Blue Knob, road rides at Delgrosso's Park and of course went to Meadow's for ice cream!! We had such a great week it was sad to see everyone go. 

Last week Dima went to a camp all week. It was the same camp where he came for the hosting program last year.  Lori and Russ Walk so graciously invited all the adopted children to come for free.  Dima got to spend time with his friends that were adopted and got to meet other kids that came to camp.  It was a rough week with the weather being extremely hot and Dima struggled as well.  We honestly thought that he would be so busy and having fun with his friends that he would not have any issues.  He has not shut down for us in months and he shut down at camp.  We had a long talk after we picked him up about respect and trying to have fun even if you are doing things you may not want to do.  I am beginning to feel like a broken record with this, but he is not going to change over night.  We get the feeling that in Ukraine he was able to get out of things that he didn't want to do because that's the only time we have issues with Dima.  When he doesn't want to do something, he tries to get out of it. He is slowly learning that it doesn't work here in America.  It will take a while and we need to continue to be patient!!! 

August's plans are to start getting ready for school and cross country.  We have been having Dima read to us at night.  I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to read, but he is a trooper.  He has finally gotten comfortable with reading to us, we just hope he is more comfortable with his new teachers this year in school.  We are also going to work on Algebra so he is prepared for Algebra II.  Last year was a struggle for all of us as we had a hard time learning it so we could help him!!!  Practice for cross country will start mid-August.  We are looking forward to his season starting. 

I can't believe I have forgotten the most important thing this summer, Dima got his first road bike.  He has been saving up money to buy a bike.  He was so proud of it and could not wait to ride! We had shoes and clipless peddles for him to use so the first time out was a little rough.  He didn't make it out of the driveway before hitting the pavement.  Dusty took him out for a ride and a few more falls later, he finally was catching on.  He has been out for a couple rides and has already had a 27 mile bike ride in!!! Dusty warned me that I'd better get out for a ride with him before he is too fast for us!  He has really been enjoying his bike rides and has a constant smile on his face!!!

Hope you all are enjoying your summer!!!